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random shots for the day

2006-09-10T20:42:00.000-04:00

Time...

2006-05-12T00:02:00.000-04:00

Wow, I haven't blogged for a whole month! So much has happened within that month that I don't even know where to begin...so I won't and I'll just discuss the present.

Right now I'm working again, even if it's just for the next couple of weeks. As well, aside from working I am volunteering still at the same elementary school with my Junior and Senior Kindergarten kids. I love them! They're so cute! To be honest, it truly is a great experience despite the fact that the teacher gives me a hard time once in a while.
The weather is so amazing right now and news is that this summer, temperatures in Canada will be quite hot and higher than normal. It has been hot the last couple of days, and in typical jinxed fashion, the next several days will be windy and rainy :(

I am excited to enjoy this summer, since I will be unemployed for the most part which means I will be able to truly relax and get a chance to read my many books.

Aside from just my busy schedule of working and volunteering...there is not much to report other than the fact that I tend to bake more often and I have gotten increasingly better with my baking skills. I am obsessed with cupcakes and must get my hands on some cupcake books!! MUST!!
I want these books:

Buttercream Icing

2006-04-08T23:58:00.000-04:00

Tonight I ventured into making my own buttercream icing for the very first time! I was a bit apprehensive since I've never done it before and wasn't too sure how to correct the recipe had I made a mistake. But surprisingly I managed!! The three let downs of the final product was the fact that I put too much of the Pink colour paste, making the icing Shocking Pink instead of just ... pink. I also used left over mini paper cups from Valentine's Day which ruined the effect of the final product. It looks way too busy, but oh well. It was just a trial run and they were just for me to munch on :P

I was trying to get the hang of piping the icing since I've never done that either, but I started to get a bit of a cramp in my right hand. It was probably because I'm holding the bag wrong or not applying enough pressure evenly. The swirls came out lopsided on some cupcakes because I had difficulty maintaing the flow of the icing as it was oozing out of the piping bag. Majority of them came out nicely, a few smudges here and there, but they were delish!! Which is all that matters! :)

2006-04-02T01:18:00.000-05:00

Well it's that time of year again to adjust our clocks - SPRING FORWARD.
Today I am not liking the sound of that. *frown*
It just seems that today, everything I had planned out to happen this weekend will probably never manifest because I just feel so wretched. All I wanted to do today was sleep, degunk myself from this nasty virus, watch MTV.ca aimlessly(reruns of 8th & Ocean, which btw is pretty interesting), and take some meds. Nothing of what I had just mentioned had any note of being the studious person I wish I could be. I have an exam on Monday as well a 3000 word paper due on Russian literature.
I had planned out the weekend accordingly, but to no surprise did it turn out exactly as I had hoped :( I physically got out of bed at 7 tonight only in haste and deep shame, type out an excruciatingly embarassing email to my Professor begging for a couple days extension. 2 days prior to the due date! Am I on crack?! What the fuck is wrong with me!? I can't seem to suck it up for these last crucial 3 days of school. I have been itching to just be done with school since January. I'm tired and burnt out, so much so that I can't even focus for the only 2 exams I have. I am such a disappointment.

On a more positive note though, I should really learn to give people the benefit of the doubt more often. There are two people whom I started making voodoo dolls for in my haste of anxiety this weekend, who have surprisingly come thru for me. One of these people being someone who I've had some tension with for the last month and a bit, surprised me by actually emailing me back after I had convinced myself that she was a bitch for not appreciating me and my time. The second person was someone who I thought didn't care enough to call me back since we're not really close friends and who I thought couldn't bother to save my cell number because of that. Surprisingly she also contacted me today and we've even made plans to hang out soon!! Wow....this is possibly the upside to my day :)
Have a little more faith in people. That's the lesson today.
So now, I'm crossing my fingers and am hoping that perhaps I can have a little faith in my Professor that he will grant me that extension! =P

3 things about ME :)

2006-03-31T23:25:00.000-05:00

Just had to do this thing because I found it in my Inbox from my loser brother who I always thought was too cool for this shit, but whatever...

Three names you go by:
1. Yvonne
2. Yves
3. Bubble

Three Things That Scare You:
1. Deep Water
2. Reptiles
3. Really, really bad thunderstorms

Three of Your Everyday Essentials:
1. Makeup bag (lip balm & powder esp!)
2. Cellphone
3. Water bottle

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Christmas pj bottoms from Mum
2. Tank top
3. Old sweater

Three Things You Need in a Relationship (other than Real Love):
1. Laughter (good jokes!!)
2. Slight competitiveness (it's fun in certain circumstances)
3. The ability to call each other on their shit

Two Truths and a Lie (in any order):
1. I don't know how to swim
2. I am an awesome singer!
3. I have another freakin' cold

Three PHYSICAL Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You:
1. Nice hair
2. A nice smile
3. Well groomed hands & nails

Three of your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Cooking/Baking
2. Reading
3. My new hobby, thanks to Nikki is Photography

Three Things You want to do really badly right now:
1. Get over this cold and build up my immune system!!
2. Go shop for more clothes
3. Gain my hearing back in my right ear!!

Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
1. Travel the world
2. Have a great career that I would be so happy with
3. Accomplish all goals I have set for myself

Three Ways that you are stereotypically a Girl:
1. I love shopping for everything!!
2. I love pretty things!
3. I need an hour to get ready...think about it: shower, get dressed, blow dry & flat iron hair, put on makeup, put the bag and essential items together = 1 hour!

Yesterday I saw my HS friend Thereze on campus and just had to whip out the new cam to take a pic!
Today...
This whole week I was looking forward to having Friday off, but unfortunately yesterday I stumbled across a roadblock which prevented me from sleeping in today(which I ended up doing anyhow! ha!). After a careless move, I had to add on some things to the paper that was due yesterday, hence the reason I had to go all the way to school just to drop off a stack of papers in an essay drop box today. That's all! I literally got off the bus, walked a few meters and dropped paper into a box. For that I had to get my ass up from bed, get ready, wait for the TTC for 15 mins, ride the TTC for 20 mins, board the GO bus, ride for 30 mins, then arrive at school.
After I dropped off the paper, I walked the few meters in the rain I might add, waited for the GO bus to take me back to Towne center, then waited for Ace to meet me at the mall.
The only part of the day that brought out a smile was that Ace bought me a couple of pretty tops from H&M, and I too splurged on a couple and a nice ring! :)

Now I'm at home going deaf in my right ear, with tears running down my face because I keep trying to yawn, all because I'm severely congested...:(
I f*ckin' hate being sick! Too many times now!

bleh...what a crummy piece of s#it day.

3 am?!!

2006-03-30T02:56:00.000-05:00

I have no idea where I find the energy to stay up so late night after night. I know I pay dearly for it the next morning, when it actually is not the morning, but rather the afternoon! So tonight I'm still here in front of my wretched computer writing up an English paper, technically I'm not writing anymore and I've decided to wake up really early to finish the conclusion. (Hallucinating much?! what makes me think my butt is going to be able to get up so early after still being on this late when I seemingly could be doing it now...aha)
Anyhow, after a much needed break after hiting the word count of 1280, by the way I need at least 1700 but can't exceed 2000 words, I decided to go on some upcoming concert hunts for lovely Toronto. How I didn't realize that Goapele was the opening act for Floetry is beyond me! In a mad dash I speed dial Bev telling her to come, which she happily accepts! Then I speed dial Aisha which she grudgingly admits to being a Girlguide whore that night, but will attempt an early getaway...btw Aisha, if you're fawning over this entry, just print out some Bulimia stats and give them to Kelly to read out loud to them again ASAP. LOL -- Sorry I couldn't help myself with that one! hahahaha

I am so excited to see Goapele live! She has such a dope vibe to her and her songs are so mellow. I like to call the feeling as brokeback as it may sound, "songs that make your soul feel happy" (shut up Aisha, I'm in a happy place right now...)
But truly, I would love to have that night out with a bunch of girlfriends, mine and yours, who sincerely appreciate good music and interesting and lovable company. For some odd reason, I have just been in this odd mood where I feel I've been at a disconnect with feeling grateful for what I have. I mean that in terms of the friends whom I really cherish. There is nothing more dreadful than living a mundane life such as I have been over the last couple of months and forgetting that amazing friendships still exist. So for at least one night, I want to go to an awesome concert, enjoy the company of great friends and seriously just have a good time. I think I sorta deserve that right now.

OMFG!! Somebody's in L-O-V-E!!!

2006-03-26T21:42:00.002-05:00

Guess who got their new beloved digicam today?!! MEEEEE!! wheeeee!! I was so happy and couldn't stop grinning like a fool! hahaha. As soon as the receipt started printing, I turned to my bf and whispered:
"I can't believe I just bought that all by myself!" hahaha.

Anyhow, here is my first shot with the camera:
I know, i know...it's nothing big or creative like everything else out there, but the fact that it looks so amazingly crisp and clear is blowing my mind! It's so vivid! I have the rest of my life to really learn how to use this bad boy, so you can be sure there'll be more picture posts coming from me in no time!
I am officially in love...again!

♥

2006-03-26T21:40:00.000-05:00

*NOTE: this post was from the 23rd and I forgot to input it!!

today started off with a high note when i reached into the mail box to pull out my lovely income tax cheque!
now, is it just me or does everyone share the same sentiment when you rationalize that this money you actually receive back was money that wasn't really yours to begin with, therefore there should be no guilt in splurging just a little?!
i mean...i worked and worked the past year, got paid for it, saved a little - spent most of what i made, and then suddenly after doing your taxes and if your lucky, a little bit falls back into your lap!
what a pleasant surprise! =)

the day continued on with me skipping my r&b class that is pretty much wrapped up since i had the last test of the course last week. my boyfriend came over after he skipped his hair lesson for the day and chilled with me in my sleepy slumber and pigged out on some pizza. i actually was in such a deep sleep i made the poor guy wait out in the cold ringing my doorbell repeatedly and blowing up my phone, hoping i'd hear him! sorry boyfriend =P

after indulging in some yummy pizza, we made our way over to the mall to "browse" for new cameras...hmm..."browse" she says. tell me then, why did i almost try to buy a camera that cost more than my computer today?!

* income tax return cheque $$$ + 1 impulsive & camera-lusting chick = INSANITY *
note: do not trust me with money that comes out of nowhere...i will rationalize profusely!!

eventually i did not end up getting the delicious nikon d50 slr due to some monetary complications, but will do so on sunday! HAHAHAHAHA - i'm coming back for you, my precious...
i have been seriously researching which camera to purchase since thanksgiving, and it's been a long time coming this purchase. i was playing with it in the store and immediately fell in love with the quickness of the shutter speed, the crispness of the photos, the ease of useage, and the lightness of the camera - it was much lighter in build considering the body is made of plastic...the slight drawback there, but everything else about it wins out in the end! i'm sooooo excited!! i love it, love it, love it!
i will definitely have a photo love-making session with it in due time, trust me on that!

cranberry vodka spillage...

2006-03-24T21:51:00.000-05:00

I got home really late ~~last night~~ this morning, around 5. dizzily tired and drunk, i slept for a couple hours only to wake up groggy and extremely thirsty and trekked to vounteer. it was a rough day for the kids as their teacher called in sick and a supply came in. therefore that translated into me running the show for the day...whoppee...i'm freakin' thirsty and too exhausted to play teacher, but alas i pulled myself together and sucked it up. i read to them, i helped put on their coats for recess and hometime, i instructed their math activity, i made sure the bus kids got on the bus, and pretty much everything else in between. it was nice and for the first time i did not feel so overwhelmed or confused as to what to do.
oh yeah...teacher in the making! :)

here is my night in stills:

a fun drunken night at the underground, my first time in the 4 years i've been at York U! jokes, drinks, friends, music...what more can you ask for in a night?

...

2006-03-17T17:29:00.000-05:00

woke up this afternoon at 12:55pm and it never occured to me how delicious life will be after april 6th. until then, i am stuck in a rut of ongoing lectures and 2 more papers to write. i've come to terms with the fact that i have butchered this academic year of mine and perhaps another year awaits me past the deadline i had set for myself.

on another note...

Kelis is "Bossy" and hot!
i can not wait for this album to drop. i'm so loving the new look and the video, so i've decided to whore it out on my blog.

i've been thinking of cutting my hair again. after seeing the "bossy" video, i'm even more convinced that i should do it. i want it short, but not too short and with bangs again! i'm feeling quite risky lately and have even thought about going back to bold colours again. i miss my red hair =(
any suggestions?

update 9:22pm
i like having days when i can scour the internet for up and coming music and new albums and to my delightful surprise, miss amel larrieux is coming out with a new album on april 25th!!

here is a clip of her new song "weary"
click

Kindergarten Ball

2006-03-03T21:02:00.000-05:00

Today at my volunteer placement, the kids attended their Ball/Dance-a-thon. So since I work with the kindergartens, I too had to dress up. I'm pretty sure that none of these kids even knew who I was. By the way I was Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz - yeah, pretty lame since it was a costume I've had since I was in my teens...give me a break!! I was initially hoping to transform myself into Dora the Explorer, but at 23 I doubt my wardrobe would include a pink jumper, purple t-shirts, or an orange skirt. Oh, and of course I seriously doubt I would have a pink miniature backpack. LOL

My picture doesn't show much of my costume because I'm wearing a sweater. It was cold!! The teacher I volunteer for thought it would be a great idea to have the window wide open because she was hot...umm...hi?! Children are in the room who are highly susceptible to catching colds!! Smart one...
Anyhow, tonight I now have a headache. Not really from the children, although one would suspect that it was from that, but I think it's from something I ate :(

Outings with Aisha....

2006-03-02T23:32:00.000-05:00

Last night, one of my greatest girlfriends, Aisha took me out to see an Indie band called Stars at The Docks. We really had no idea what we'd be in for...we were truly clueless as to what was happening for most of the night!
It turns out that the Canadian Indie Music awards were up first prior to the actual Stars performance. Actually, we had to endure some country band named The Road Hummers and Aisha and I almost died laughing from the "Brokeback-ism" of it all!! hahaha
The entire evening was priceless and I had so much fun just being goofy with Isha. She got hit on by some promoter of The Docks and scored 2 free tickets for the Bedouin Soundclash concert this Saturday!! You lucky girl you for being so hot! I almost died when he caressed her under her chin and then came back to poke her in her tummy for being so damn cute! hahaha Boo for me that I can't go with her because the girls in my department are throwing me a goodbye party.

Picture 1 is of Aisha dancing around, I forgot to what...perhaps the devil music?! Picture 2 is of the crowd from the back. Sorry...I'm short!

Today was an easy day. I skipped my one class in the hopes I'd crack open my articles to prep for the big paper due on Monday, and of course the book was not opened until 7 o'clock! *frown*
Anyhow, I did take advantage of being at home alone and played around in the kitchen.
I made this:

Lemon, Dijon & Rosemary with Olive Oil Grilled Chicken and Mushroom Rice

yummy!!
It was tangy and fresh! I was surprised it turned out well considering I threw all those ingredients together. :)

"Suffering" Saturday

2006-02-25T22:09:00.000-05:00

I have a day off today and well, the plan was supposed to write a paper on Dostoyevsky and his consistent theme of suffering in his books. However, since I was not too sure I'd be so convincing of writing a paper based on that, I chose to write about something else...which ultimately cost me most of the day since I was forcing myself to read other work to brush up so I could write that paper...
Now, at 10:10pm I find myself sitting here in a funk because I ended up going back to my initial chosen topic of "Suffering" and am stuck here trying to write a convincing paper that I myself don't even find the least bit convincing!!! GGGGRRRRRR!! Procrastination has a wicked bite!

I mean it's coming along...just not so swimmingly as I had hoped. I'm really liking Dostoyevsky more and more, but initially I just thought he was crazy and all gibberish. I have "Notes From The Underground" to thank for that initial impression. That book is crazy! Very deep...but crazy. But after reading "The Idiot" - being the dramatist I am, I love Dostoyevsky. Now I'm on "The Brothers Karamazov" - Fantastic!
He is hard to put down. I heard some woman in my class say that while I was killing myself trying to read Notes, and I thought she was insane! You wouldn't even have to ask me to put that down, I wouldn't even bother picking it up!

Anyhow, on a happier note - Canada has won 24 medals at this Winter Olympics, the most ever! We're only a medal away from the US and 5 from Germany! I'm so proud of all our athletes! The women's speed skating did awesome today winning Gold and Bronze from Clara Hughes and Cindy Klassen. Cindy Klassen is the most decorated Canadian athlete winning 5 in these games alone, and 6 in her career!! The men's short track relay team won silver, losing to Korea who broke our record for winning gold in 2 consecutive Olympics in this sport. In the men's 500m Short Track competition, Francois-Louis Tremblay won silver! So close, but another favourtie of mine, despite the fact he's American, Apolo Anton Ohno won the gold.
Today was an exciting day for Canadian Olympians!! Gotta love being Canadian, we live and breathe winter sports!

geez-us!

2006-02-23T21:03:00.000-05:00

God, I'm sick! Still bloody sick! In the span of 4 months, I've been sick 5 times! I blame the volunteering with the kids, they killed what weak immune system I already had :( Coughing is exhausting on its own. By the way, I seriously wonder how my brother, who happens to be the biggest baby when he's sick, would deal with having the flu at the same time as having a period had he'd been a woman. Men just have it quite easy sometimes....I'm trying to be a trooper really. Gotta love the BF for bringing me some noodles and soup last night when I thought I'd just about had it and thought I'd die from sheer exhaustion. He also brought me some Kool-Aid Sport juice with electrolytes so that I wouldn't be so dehydrated :)

Anyway, I've been dying to blog my good news! The day before I called it quits at work, I purchased my very own and chic looking Stand MIXER!! Woo-Hoo!! I'll be stylin' while baking! It was a steal at only $149 with my discount :) It has all the attachments I need to bake and create anything my little cupcake-loving heart desires! My copy-cat future sis-in-law would like to pretentiously and materialistically state the colour as: "Tiffany-blue!!" (Yvonne rolls her eyes).
She better be at least thankful that I told her about the sale...*grumbles*

Say Hello to my new baby!!
I'm off to go watch the Ladies Free Skate!!

T on T

2006-02-21T21:38:00.000-05:00

10 Favourite Places In Your Hometown

1) Kensington Market
2) Edwards Garden for walks with the Boyfriend
3) Salad King
4) Spring Rolls
5) The ROM
6) The Lakeshore
7) QEW Beach
8) Anywhere Downtown Toronto actually
9) Used bookstores
10) My house

:(

2006-02-20T00:39:00.000-05:00

I hate to be so melodramatic about something as irritating as this predictament I've been put in, but I can't seem to fall asleep tonight...so you know it's just eating away at me. Oh yeah, and by the way, I'm sick ... AGAIN. I'm actually running a fever as I type. Goodness help me get past the hacking coughs I'm sure is running their course pretty soon :(

I've finally taken the plunge into UNEMPLOYMENT. I gave my 2 weeks today via the telephone...yeah, tell me about it! How professional, Yvonne! Hey...that bitch was just asking for it, and truly as do all my friends and co-workers agree, she provoked me into it. I have worked for Clinique at a Sears location for the past 3 and 1/2 years of my life, and not once have I ever felt appreciated for the work that I do. It came time that I felt the suffocation just couldn't be ignored anymore. I don't know why it did not happen sooner, perhaps it was my optimistic side of me hoping that things would get better, and of course I paid dearly for the fact that it only got worse. New management in retail seems to be a rather omnious clue to get your ass out of the place ASAP.
I suppose the fact that I no longer have a job somewhat irritates me and yet I know I'll be over it in a couple of days, however what truly irks me is the fact that it didn't have to get as personal the way it did. I have been on this woman's black list from the moment I spoke up and spoke my mind. I now realize that I really do not regret doing what I did when I spoke up, because truly it was completely unprofessional on her part to treat me as if I do not exist. Perhaps the most annoying aspect of this situation is I'll be leaving this place without the opportunity to voice my opinions and my thoughts on the relationship between myself and this manager. It no longer became a professional matter, but a personal matter. I feel defeated having the unfortunate title of being a part-time associate. I apparently am treated lower than the dogs and I am simply just fluff for the counter with absolutely no entitlement to voicing my opinions.
I have come to the conclusion that I became a target for this woman for standing up for myself. As well as for these other reasons:
a) Taking a stand and standing up to her over her inconsideration and unprofessionalism
b) Humiliating her in front of her manager, thus making me a bullseye to constantly nag me from that point on
c) I hate to say this as I often don't toss this word around lightly...she has slight potential to be racist

I know I'll be fine and it's just a stupid part-time job, there are plenty of other jobs to bitch about, however I can not help but feel a bit worried and anxious about the next few months. I simply can not just rely on the bf or the parents to help me out.

Working for Sears and the management team I've had to endure for the past 3 years taught me many things about myself and the business world and whom they let in and who they shut out. Surprisingly from a retail job, it taught me much about self-worth, sacrifice, perseverance, humility, grace, hard-work, and loyalty or lack of. This chapter is closed and I'm walking away wiser, more empathetic for those in retail, a more concrete belief in my talents, and a much more rather cynical view on women in the cosmetic workforce unfortunately. It sucks for stereotypes to be proved as fact for women who work in Cosmetics, but don't be completely pessimistic, sometimes there lies a diamond in the rough who manage to get out without being shredded by the cattyness...I am walking proof of that. There are some women who aren't all about kissing ass to work their way up the ladder and making a huge sale, some truly do have heart and compassion and care to make your beauty shine thru.

Castles In The Sand

2006-02-16T17:10:00.000-05:00

Firstly, I am super excited that one of my favourite bands is back in the scene with their new album, "Castles". The Philosopher Kings are a Canadian group who have been around since 1994 and have even toured with big US names like The Fugees and Maxwell, and are back after lead singer Gerald Eaton embarked on a solo career under the moniker of Jarvis Church. Jarvis Church was a homage to a couple of streets in Downtown Toronto. I love their music and their sound, with great hits such as "Hurts To Love You", "Charms", "If I Ever Lose This Heaven", and so many more! Just as their website claims, I truly believe they opened the doors for such bands as Maroon 5 and John Mayer in terms of creating a distinct band type genre and sound. They just have this sexy, soulful(especially due to Gerald's sexy voice), and lush sound. Not to mention they're INCREDIBLE live!! They just get it every single time! Oh, and did I mention 2 of the bandmates, Gerald Eaton and Brian West were behind the production of Nelly Furtado's amazing albums!?

They'll be at The Phoenix Concert Theatre on March 2nd! I hope I'll get to be there!
Just check out their first single, "Castles In The Sand" from the new album. It's definitely on replay on my iPod! I've missed them...

Wow! I haven't blogged since Groundhog Day! Hmm...what have I been up to? Well, school was crazy prior to this week, which also happens to be my reading week (equivalent to a March break, just not in March). So I've had this whole week to bask in my culinary skills seeing that it was Valentines Day 2 days ago. By the way, Happy Belated Valentines Day to you all :) Hope it wasn't too lonely for those who abhor this day due to being single, but you know friends are a great alternative to making it a day filled with good times.
I had spent all of Monday in the kitchen baking and baking some more. I ended up with 3 dozen mini cupcakes and 2 dozen cut out cookies which I prepared and decorated with Royal icing in numerous colours. It was a whole day of just baking....but it was fun and mindless to do. I created little gifts boxes for my beloved co-workers and friends, putting some extra care and love into those of the single girls who I adore.

Cute, huh? I hoped everyone enjoyed the cookies. They were a cross between a shortbread and a butter cookie! Yuumm!

Wiarton Willie

2006-02-03T00:22:00.000-05:00

Well it has been announced! Spring will be coming early! Canada's groundhog, Wiarton Willie did not see his shadow this year. That is good news and judging by the weather it sure feels that way here in Toronto. Although, I shouldn't speak so soon...as the Atlantic provinces received quite a snow storm :(

How exactly did Groundhog Day start?
READ IT HERE.

Other news is that I'm sick as a dog. I don't know how I got sick, all I know is that it happened literally overnight and now I'm congested and my throat is on fire! Great...just what I needed.
I was out the other day with Ace and we were driving around downtown. I had my camera on me as I normally do these days and I shot a picture on night mode by accident. I've never known how to use the night mode, it seems that every picture that I take on night mode ends up being blurry...really, really, blurry...what's the point??!
Well this is what I came up with:

Pretty neat, huh?
Ace and I are talking about getting a new camera, so we've been saving up for one. God knows I don't really need one, but I know Ace needs one, so we've discussed splitting it. We are hoping to get the Canon SD550 and I am so excited!! I hope we can get it in time for Valentine's day so we can shoot downtown. Well that's the plan anyway...spending a day together Downtown shooting random photos and eating possibly down by Lakeshore or Harbourfront. Possibly even a nice picnic, hoping the weather permits. *crosses fingers* Ooh! I know what we can have, we can have the Chicken Carbonara sub from Quiznos, just like we did on our first date :)
That would bring back great memories!

comfort

2006-01-31T15:43:00.000-05:00

There's nothing more comforting and relaxing than having a day off from school and work and having the entire house all to yourself. It's drizzling and cold outside and I'm here at home, warm in my jammies, hair clipped up and eating my comfort food. I have The Best of Sade on in the background, loud and with the bass up...this is so soothing. Especially in the state my heart and mind is in. I'm happy...but only for a little while, I have some homework to do later on.

I've been quite agitated lately with a couple people in my life. I hate the feeling of tension and yet it simply hangs there like a thread off of the hem of a skirt. You know it's there but you kinda just leave it hanging thinking you'll get to it later. What's harder is that one person whom I feel completely unnerved by is my best friend. We rarely ever argue, much less do we feel the need to cut each other off. Lately, I've been indecisive as to whether this friendship is worth hanging on to. It is hard to pinpoint exactly when the tide changed, but what I do know is that it has turned into a love-hate type of friendship. I'm tired of feeling that I am the only one who has been the giver, as is the case in most ruined relationships. I have been there unconditionally and yet I'm constantly being brushed off like a crumb. I find myself always being a "crumb" in many people's lives...it's disheartening to feel that way all the time. She's a rather selfish person without truly acknowledging it and as well, what probably makes the situation worse is I know how she gets when she feels she is ignorant to the dilemma. She has a lot of pride...we all know how those type of people get in situations such as this. At this point in my life, I don't have the energy nor time to deal with the issue...so I wonder this, does this gap keep getting bigger if left unspoken, or does it remain a hole in the circle of a friendship, or in my case - the one way street of a friendship I have with her?

I'm tired of nursing my emotional side lately and as I'm sure we've all felt in some time in our lives, I wish I could just shut the world out for a while and enjoy being in jammies, indulge in comfort food, and listen to good music. I've given myself that for today...for a few hours before the chaos ensues when people come home and I get back to my priorities.

Wood blocks & makeshift bamboo sticks...??!!

2006-01-29T03:21:00.000-05:00

Dinner was at Auntie Linda's for her birthday tonight and it was quite fun! The event tonight other than karaoke (thank god!!) was actually learning a traditional Filipino dance, the Tininkling. Of course, since we don't have actualy bamboo sticks, we used some blocks of wood and long hard plastic tubes. It's much harder than it looks!! I suck really bad at tapping to the beat and counting the steps, if it was real bamboo I would have gone home with some bruised ankles!!
I like to make these mosaics for the sake of saving room instead of me posting all these pictures. I could give you bits and pieces of the night this way, and it just looks cool!

Cute Chad up there, the little boy was so great at the dance!! Made me look like a loser! Everyone liked my Lime Chicken, so much so that Ace was eating it at my house while I was cooking it! There was birthday cake and so much food! Leave it to Filipino's to have enough food for an army and then some because it's considered rude if you leave without taking some home.
Oh yeah, and a couple of shots up there are up our noses, only because Chad liked taking them that way :) As well as of him, his sister Darla, and of Ace eating bugles.

I posted somewhere that I would post some pics of my 2 girls, Mia & Shasha, so here they are in all their cuteness!

The first picture is of Mia(L) and Shasha(R) waiting for their hay. It's too bad you can't hear a clip of them squeaking!

Screw Elevators!!

2006-01-28T01:51:00.000-05:00

Yet another reason for me to dread taking elevators....

Elevator plunges five floors in Toronto building

An elevator in a Toronto office building malfunctioned and plunged five stories late Friday afternoon, with five people inside.

All the occupants of the elevator sustained broken ankles, along with other fractures, but there were no fatalities in the terrifying accident, according to fire and rescue officials on the scene.

"When you hear of an elevator falling you tend to find that you're going to come out with a worse scenario, and you know what, everybody was very very lucky and we had a good outcome," Peter Rotolo, a manager of Toronto Emergency Medical Services told CTV Toronto.

The accident occurred at the National Life building on University Avenue just north of Dundas Street in the city's downtown.

The rescue effort was carried out in the basement of the 15 floor building, where the elevator ended its plunge.

"Officials are telling me those who dealt with the victims said they were in very good spirits considering what happened to them. All five people have been taken to hospital and are being treated for multiple fractures," said CTV Toronto's Alicia Kay-Markson, reporting from the scene.

A fire official said the elevator itself wasn't crushed in the fall.

"It wasn't crumpled or anything like that,'' said Gary Hewson, acting district fire chief. "I think it just hit very, very hard."

Patients were taken to St. Michael's Hospital and Mount Sinai Hospital.

The manager of the office building shut down the remaining elevators in the building in fear of similar accidents, and occupants were told to use the stairs.

Licensing officials were reportedly on their way to the scene.

It is not known what caused the elevator to malfunction.
Source: www.ctv.ca

How scary is that?! I've always been afraid of heights and elevators, so to all my friends that tease me...SHUT UP!! See!! It happens!
I hope those injured will be alright...I would have had a heart attack if I was one of them.
I refuse to even do the CN Tower stairway climb! Just thinking about how tired I would get after climbing all those stairs, I would hate to have to take that glass elevator down. Forget it!

New hair colour!!

2006-01-27T19:36:00.000-05:00

Well I was Acey's hair model today and I got my hair dyed to a purple-ish/brown/reddish colour! Confused? Yeah, me too...It's a long story of me playing around with my hair 2 years ago and completely screwing up my hair colour, thus making future hair dye processing a bitch to do. Sorry Ace if you're reading this...but you managed to get it done, so thanks! The chicks in his class are quite intimidating...Women are really catty!! Meoowww!!

BEFORE & AFTER

(*Don't mind the before picture...that's my hair naturally...wavy & crazy, and a little bed-head!)
Do you like the after? It's a nice change from simple black I've had for a really long time. The last time I dyed it was a horrendous incident of only having the top 3 inches of my head a halo of brown, while the rest of my hair was black...in pictures it looked as if my head was glowing!

After the hair dyeing and chick stare downs, we went to the supermarket to pick up ingredients for my Lime Chicken with Rice. I'm planning to make it for tomorrow's gathering at Ace's aunt's house...again. We stuffed ourselves last weekend and then this past Wednesday I was there being taught by Auntie Milla how to make a fattening-but-oh-so-good Filipino dessert!! Yum!! I wasn't kidding about the fattening part, the amount of butter used in the recipe was enough to clog your arteries just by looking at it!!
Anyhow, here is the Lime Chicken recipe. Sadly it wasn't MY original recipe, but it's damn good!

LIME CHICKEN WITH RICE recipe

Enjoy it, it's so good and healthy!!

A Million Little Pieces Controversy on Oprah

2006-01-26T16:28:00.000-05:00

James Frey, the author of "A Million Little Pieces", the number one selling book catapulted by Oprah's book club, appeared on Oprah today and as I watched the interview, you could see and hear how upset and embarassed Frey was. I truly felt bad for him as I watched him sitting there being grilled by Oprah. Oprah was deeply bothered and embarassed as she kept repeating. She had even called the Larry King show defending Frey.

This book was given to me as a Christmas gift. I raved about it after seeing it on Oprah's show and couldn't wait to get it. I have not yet had the time to read it, and now with the controversy, the appeal of the book has been destroyed. The Smoking Gun was the first to expose the betrayal of Frey's alleged memoir.
I feel so disappointed by the whole controversy, as I do with Frey. The publishing house has already rolled in all that money, whose fault is to blame?

If I were James Frey, I wouldn't know how to feel or act about the whole situation. How does one hold their head up after something as big as that? I truly feel sorry for him, but the truth always finds its way out...

A new day, a new Prime Minister...

2006-01-24T13:51:00.000-05:00

Well it's the day after the Elections and we now have Stephen Harper as our new Prime Minister. I wonder how this will go considering the fact that the whole 416 area voted Liberal!! Quite risky now that we won't know what we'll be in for with his ruling. But thank goodness it's a minority government. I applaud David Miller for standing up against Harper. The city needs the Liberal party...

Even gossip queen PerezHilton.com has something to say about our new PM and even comparing him to George W. Bush!! It's true though...I'm very worried. My Critical Intro. to Sexualities class will not be pleased with his stance on Gay marriages.
Judging by the comments on PerezHilton's page, there are a lot of Canadian readers, myself included who share the same sentiment about Harper.
(*** side note: There's a commenting war going on in his comments link!!)

As well, what a coincidence that it's a rainy day today?! It's an omen I tell you.... =(

On a lighter note though, I got my fantastic Isaac Mizrahi wellies in the mail today!! A great excuse of a day to go out and rock 'em on the streets, hahaha!

My song(s) of the day:
Anna Nalick - "Breathe" & Bloc Party - "Banquet"

It's today!
10 Great Things About Being a Kid
1) Being carried around when you're tired
2) Playing outside and getting dirty without caring
3) Believing that you can be anything you want when you grow up
4) Getting all the toys at Christmas
5) Wearing the funky band aids
6) Having an amazing imagination
7) Trick or Treating for Halloween
8) Riding your bike with your friends and racing
9) Going to the park
10) The feeling of excitement of being rewarded a treat - i.e. Ice cream, popsicle, etc. (Somehow the feeling isn't the same as an adult - health conscious folks we've become!)

2006-01-23T22:39:00.000-05:00

As of tomorrow morning we will have a new Prime Minister. I'm feeling anxious, I have been feeling anxious the last week. It's not over yet, but you know how the media is...completely jumping the gun and setting the somber mood :(

Sluggish Sunday & Body Worlds 2

2006-01-22T11:48:00.000-05:00

Just my little collage of pictures from last night and the outing to the science center. The BODY WORLDS 2 exhibit at the Ontario Science Center was amazing!! Of course, as was expected despite the fact that I did bring the camera just in case, viewers were not allowed to take photos of the bodies :( So I just had to make do with taking pictures of us outside in the -10 degree weather, fooling around :) Oh yeah, and the picture of the sushi was of what my brother and his girlfriend ate.
The bodies were so fascinating and made me appreciate this machine of a body we've been given. You only have one body that is your capsule in life, treat it well. I really recommend going to go see this exhibit if it is ever in your city, it is so worth it to see how magnificent the body truly is. I believe the next showing will be in Philly. My favourite was of the Yoga Lady and the Flying Skiier. They were amazing! I do yoga occasionally and was so in awe of how beautiful her body was. There was everything from a fetus from different stages of weeks to pieces of the brain that suffered from a stroke, to the conditions of lungs vs. a smoker's lung. (FYI: A smoker's lung is equivalent in blackness to a lung of an individual who worked in a coal mine!!) They even had a camel and a baby camel!!! A CAMEL!! It was huge and they split the head into 3 parts to get a better look at the interior!
It is so funny how many people share the same humour my boyfriend and brother have. Of course, leave it to me to bring along 2 goofballs such as those two to crack jokes such as:
"It's not a tu-mah!!" and of course, "Daddy...I think I've got the black lung..." - Derek Zoolander
I loved the exhibit so much and was so fascinated by it that Ace bought me the book!

By the way, there was something I really wanted to post on my blog...a question.
There was a section of the exhibit that showed the details of donating your body to Plastination. I stood there and read pondering the option. Hmm...
Of course, my brother's girlfriend being very sentimental and my brother affectionately patting my head objected to the thought of me donating my body for educational and exhibition purposes. A shared sentiment I'm sure, that once a person passes family members would want to keep the body for the funeral, etc, etc. I am assuming that Plastination requires obtaining the body of the donor soon after.

So, would you consider donating your body for Plastination?
CLICK HERE
Drop me your thoughts on that...I'm interested to hear what people think.

Anyhow, today is Sunday and that usually means doing homework and preparing for the week to come. I'm feeling quite tired today and I have to go to a family luncheon, so I must go get ready...pictures to come tonight!

Senseless Saturday

2006-01-21T13:45:00.000-05:00

Ahh...Saturdays!! Given I have the luxury of not working this whole month, (They've cut hours at my part-time job since they killed it in the month of December) I've decided not to volunteer this month as well, so now I have the whole Saturday to myself to do the most useless things. Of course blogging isn't useless, but the stuff I find to put on my blog is quite useless, some anyway ;)
Tonight however, I am going to the Ontario Science Center to view Gunther von Hagens' Body Worlds 2, The Anatomical Exhibition of Real Human Bodies!! Cool!!

Click on picture to go to the site!

Anyway, back to my senseless Saturday goodies.

FOUR THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF
4 Jobs I've Had:
1- Clinique consultant
2- Hallmark associate
3- Videographer for my brother's company
4- N/A (I've technically only had 2 jobs, but got paid by my brother)

4 Places I Have Lived:
1- Toronto, Ontario
2- Quebec City, Quebec
3-
4-

4 TV shows I heart:
1- Sex & The City
2- Grey's Anatomy
3- ER
4- Girlfriends

4 Places I Have Been On Vacation:
1- Los Angeles, California
2- San Francisco, California (my fav place)
3- The Philippines
4- N/A (I need to find time to travel more!!)

4 Web Sites I visit daily:
1- Hotmail
2- Ebay
3- Blogger (I try to update my blog) Or my favourite blogs
4- York University site

4 Favorite Foods:
1- Sushi
2- Gyros pita
3- Pesto Pizza with Feta
4- Gnocchi with pesto

4 Places I Would Rather Be Right Now:
1- San Francisco
2- In bed watching movies with my bf
3- Shopping for some books & CD's
4- A nice scenic place, soothing and beautiful

Names of 4 People I DO NOT heart:
1- George Lopez
2- Paris Hilton
3- George Bush Jr.
4- My ex-boyfriend (insert fake smile here)

Found a collage on a person's blog and thought, "Ehh...why not make one too?"

Created with fd's Flickr Toys.

Bangkok Girl

2006-01-21T01:32:00.000-05:00

It is 1:30 am and I got home about an hour ago from dinner with Ace's family. We had a nice outing with his aunt who was visiting from the Philippines and will be leaving on Monday. We had all gone to Tako Sushi for some Japanese food - YUM!!

Anyhow, coffee and wine was served at the boyfriend's house where I vegged out, completely satisfied with the amount of sushi I had consumed. I began to channel surf on his bed while a documentary caught my eye. Anything that looks remotely like the Philippines I have to stop and watch, so it was this channel I paused to listen to. CBC always has the best documentaries!! Tonight was BANGKOK GIRL by Jordan Clark, who is from Ottawa. There are no words left for me to say other than what this viewer has said from the CBC.ca website:

RE: BANGKOK GIRL

I recently viewed your 'Rough Cuts' documentary "Bangkok Girl". As a young adult that has lead a sheltered Canadian life, this documentary was a crude awakening about how lucky people are to live in a country that is free politically and socially. What I mean by this is that in Thailand and other 3rd world countries, prostitution and the sex trade are very likely the only choice for most of the poor women and children. If they want to survive, it is what they must do. They are born into a society where no other option is available.

It's easy to put the atrocities out of your mind when you've never been near or around them, and when it seems like it happens to people so distant and so foreign from yourself. Bangkok Girl touched me especially because it put a human face on the issue. It built a relationship between me and the main character to the point where I realized it could've been me or someone I know, and that these women and children are no different from the people I share my life with.

Why then, do they deserve such a hardship that I and most people I am around will never know? After hearing the tragic story of that poor girl's hard life, compounded by the sheer will to survive against such decrepit circumstances, I was left crippled by the ending. This time someone did care, and it was me.

-Alex Samuels

It was heartbreaking to watch these women resign themselves to the callousness of what their environment is thriving on - prostitution. The main girl in the documentary is named Pla. A rather young girl whose age unknown as I missed the first half hour, speaks broken english. However despite the language barrier, there is no mistaking the anguish behind her eyes as she stares into the lens of the camera. She has a beautiful smile and a somber spirit, which viewers can feel through the screen from her tone of voice. The documentary is unforgettable...truly heartwrenching. For those who are reading this, I urge you to please just take a look at the CBC.ca website for more details on this extraordinary documentary.
CLICK HERE

Cold Wet & Wet socks :(

2006-01-20T18:06:00.000-05:00

If there is anything else I hate about winter and the cold Canadian climate is none other than the slush and slushy weather that comes when it rains. Cold, freezing rain is even worse - but thank God that is not hitting us right now!!

I do not drive...thus, I am forced to take public transit. I am accustomed to taking the bus, which is truly not a problem for me as it is with my spoiled friends who insist on driving everywhere. What I consider problematic is walking to the bus stop in the weather I mentioned above. Now that sort of climate KILLS me and my poor shoes. I have gone thru countless pairs of boots over the course of 3 years due to the harsh winters and springs.
Now, this brings me to my blog of the day...
I had the unfortunate circumstance of having to endure 2 lectures and 1 tutorial's worth of classes starting from 1 o'clock until 10 o'clock pm. Do you really know how uncomfortable being in wet socks is?! Truly, utterly, and cold is what the whole day felt like for me :(

So, I come to this solution: I won and bought myself a pair of beautiful, yet kitschy-chic-looking GALOSHES!!

Aren't they cute? Isaac Mizrahi rain boots. When was the last time you heard anything from him?! Aside from the little titty squeeze incident with Scarlett Johansson the other night at the Golden Globes. Wow.
Apparently these boots are from Target, or as Rosie O'Donnell would like to say: "Tar-gé" Ah Target...how I wish we had you here for Sonia Kashuk cosmetics and cute Isaac Mizrahi things like these...

Don't they bring back memories of being a kid? My friend asked me how I could rock those...damn right I'll rock 'em! I'll tuck my pants into those bad boys and strut with no shame! As long as they keep my feet dry, I sure as hell will wear them. I joked too that with those suckers, there'll be no need for a cell phone to find me in a big crowd! hahahaha

Now that's a fashionable solution to my problemo, isn't it? I can't wait to get them in the mail!!

As of late...

2006-01-18T14:46:00.000-05:00

I have not touched the computer in a few days since today, hence the lack of blogging. I have had my nose stuck in a book for the last week since school's a complete bitch these days.

The book I was reading was to say the least quite frustrating since it is an ideal Feminist type novel. It is for my Post-Colonial African Literature class, so you get the idea of the importance in where Feminism is or is not placed in the books we're analyzing.
If you're interested, check out the rating on Amazon.com: Changes: A Love Story
It is a great book covering the struggles of gaining self-respect, independence, modernity, femininity, love, marriage, culture, and friendships. A cultural love story, yet so similar to our Western life and love stories. A voice for women all over the world.

2006-01-12T14:00:00.000-05:00

Your Personality Is

Rational (NT)

You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas.
You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy!

Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people.
In fact, you're often a little short with people who don't impress you mentally.

You seem distant to some - but it's usually because you're deep in thought.
Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals.

In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent.

At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia.

With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can't take your criticism well.

As far as your looks go, you're coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly.

On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.

The Three Question Personality Test

Arty Kid

Whether you were a drama freak or an emo poet, you definitely were expressive and unique.

You're probably a little less weird these days - but even more talented!

Who Were You In High School?

2006-01-11T23:16:00.001-05:00

Not much to blog tonight as it was a typical day. Wake up, go to school, meet up with Ace @ Towne, ate dinner with his Parents, shopped for odd things here and there, etc, etc...got home @ 8. Same old stuff.

Although I think I did horribly on my Music test today, which sucks ass...but I guess I'll have to kill myself on the next test to get an even better mark. *sigh* What else is new?!?

Saw some really, really cute baby guinea pigs at the pet store!! They were so tiny and so cute! I wish my babies stayed that small forever! Shasha and Mia are so big now =(. But they're still sooo cute!
*Note to self: Remember to post some pics of my girls in the next blog!

On another note, just as rumours were starting to fly, the truth finally reveals itself!
Angelina's preggers with Brad's baby!!!
(I know, I know...some of you may not really care to hear about this mumbo-jumbo, but some do. It's been everywhere anyhow =\)
Congrats to them both...he's been anxious for a family of his own for some time now. Regardless of that "Team Aniston"/"Team Jolie" crap, I like both Angelina and Jennifer. Brad sure is a lucky guy to have and had a relationship with both though, huh?? They're great in their own ways!

click

My reward for a productive day...

2006-01-10T22:42:00.000-05:00

So I've had a productive day cleaning and studying so now at 10:43pm, I've gone back to surfing blogs and came upon this site, www.blogthings.com.

You Are Likely a Third Born

At your darkest moments, you feel vulnerable.
At work and school, you do best when you're comparing things.
When you love someone, you tend to like to please them.

In friendship, you are loyal to one person.
Your ideal careers are: sales, police officer, newspaper reporter, inventor, poet, and animal trainer.
You will leave your mark on the world with inventions, poetry, and inspiration.

The Birth Order Predictor

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable.
You tend to blend into your surroundings.
Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends.

You believe that you live a virtuous life...
And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye.
As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

You're A Passed Out Drunk

Drinking gives you that warm fuzzy feeling, until you're thrown in the back of a police car...

What Kind of Drunk Are You?

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.
Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You've dated enough to know what you want.
And that's marriage - with the right person.
You're serious about settling down some time soon.
Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything.
You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life.
You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you.

Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace.
You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life.
Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times.

At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you.
You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others.
You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

What Temperment Are You?

I think that's enough for one night...but they all seem on the mark!

what have i really done today?!

2006-01-10T14:51:00.000-05:00

*sigh*
it's 2:51pm and what have i really accomplished today? Here's the timeline of things:

11 am: woke up, watched Martha Stewart & The View interchangeably

12 pm: Made some hashbrowns from real potatoes, which means I spent 15 mins. washing and cutting them up into cubes.

1 pm: Finished eating and left the dishes in the sink. *frown*- those will have to be done later.

1:30 pm: started uploading songs on my iPod to study for tomorrow's R&B/Jazz test. This took a while, you know how it is...organizing them by genre and such, it's a bitch sometimes!

2:30 pm-Now: Browsed around looking at other blogs....some really interesting stuff!!

It's coincidental that on days when you're immersered in thoughts of staying motivated or when you're down, you come across something, be it on t.v., hearing a song, or reading something on the net that speaks to you. So as I was browsing blogs, I came across this:

Rarely is anything ever as difficult as you first imagine it to be. More often than not, the greatest difficulty you must overcome is convincing yourself to get started.

Imagine what would happen if you could simply stop fighting with yourself and could just go ahead with whatever needs to be done. The great and empowering fact is, you can.

What if all the energy you put into avoiding effort was suddenly redirected into productive action? It can happen much more easily than you think.

What if you stopped making excuses and started making real progress? The good news is, you don't have to just imagine it.

You have the power to get yourself started. You have the power to overcome all those complaints and worries, anxieties, doubts and excuses that exist only within the confines of your mind.

For you control your mind, and your mind directs your actions. Make use of that awesome power, and truly great things will quickly begin to happen.

-- Ralph Marston"

I found it quite eerie that perhaps a greater being is speaking to me thru what I had read. God is perhaps helping me to stay motivated and to not feel so overwhelmed with what I had planned to commit myself to, which was to become more organized and focused this year. Did I not blog yesterday that I would clean up my act, my room to be exact, today?! Yet, here I am blogging this...right...

Off I go. *sigh*

the season's over... =(

2006-01-09T23:49:00.000-05:00

christmas has come and gone so quickly =( i can't believe that it is already 2006!! it just feels like yesterday when we were ringing in 2005. i can't even begin to let you know where the year has gone...perhaps it's the age factor starting to creep up on me again. *frown* i feel old. i feel so unprepared. however, as was in my previous post....i feel more reassured that the future can be molded by what i make of it. so as for feeling unprepared, i guess that is stemming from my anxiousness at being more independent and responsible. i'll get there, i know i will....it's just a matter of finding the time to get disciplined and organized. which by the way, must start tomorrow with cleaning up my room! ha!

anyhow, i made this post as an excuse to post my beloved attempt at making gingerbread cookies. i baked them for the kids in my junior and senior kindergarten classes for christmas. i must say though, it was a whole-day process making everything from scratch and whipping and colouring the icing!!! but i had fun, and it was worth it to see their faces and have Sam ask me how i made them!! i think i did quite well for a beginner=)

ta-da!!aren't they pretty??!

with age comes sweeter wine...

2006-01-02T16:03:00.000-05:00

at age 23 i am starting to understand what they mean that with age comes grace. Just like the more wine is aged, the better it tastes. (sometimes!!)

like every other teenager growing up, especially in the area where i live which won't be mentioned here for privacy sake, the rite of passage in life was to be a die-hard (see there's the age factor again, "die-hard" would not be in the vocab of a teen) r&b/rap/hip-hop fanatic opposing all other sorts of musical genres. i, like all my friends lived and breathed for the latest reggae tune at the upcoming after school dance or the newest, sappiest r&b "slow-jam" to be the soundtrack to our latest soap opera lovelife/love object.

the switch here in my story is the fact that i wasn't a snob to any sort of genre. i grew up listening to guns & roses, inxs, sinead o'connor, phil collins (yes! i typed correctly), madonna circa material-girl era, michael jackson prior to the molestations, and old skool hip-hop. i loved it all!!! i have my brother and my aunt to thank for that....i know there's a tape lying around the house somewhere where my brother taped me singing "paradise city" and "welcome to the jungle".

within the last few years,probably within the last 4 years, i've mellowed out in my taste in music, just as my personality has as well. not that i was a wild child, just quiet but loved to dance and listen to loud music.
i've settled into acquired tastes in everything from wearing stretch pants to cardigans, from reading v.c. andrews to whatever is on Oprah's latest booklist, from watching those teen horror flicks to watching and loving oscar academy type movies, from getting down to r. kelly's latest hit to relaxing to sade's old classics... i've officially embraced my aging gracefully.
there are nights i just want a glass of red wine, a merlot to be exact. drinking pop/soda was never really my thing anyway, water was always my choice, but now i've ventured into tasting different wine selections. i guess i have acey's dad to thank for that. i've picked up a new hobby of cooking complicated dishes and trying new recipes. what i had wanted for christmas this year for god's sakes were different cookie cutters!!!
it's not that i'm feeling old...just mature. more focused and more independent than i usually already am. i can't wait to get paid so that i can go grocery shopping or venture downtown to kensington market to browse the produce and cheese store!

what hasn't changed is my love for music...diverse and delicious to my ears. i've grown loving world music and various styles and genres. i love it all...love the beats, love the melodies, love the instrumentals, love the vocal ranges....love it all.
perhaps investing in a course that cost me $800 to study jazz and soul will deepen my love for music...actually i know it has. i love jazz more than i thought i could. there's no other type of music like the blues and jazz. it truly encapsulates all the emotions of life.

i'm loving life and what i have come to make of mine...what i have grown to become and love. i love what i have sought to teach and educate myself on...i love my individuality and my interests. today is the second day of the new year and i already have a good feeling about the year and what i have to offer and what life has to offer me. things can only go up from here!! :)

2005-09-26T21:29:00.000-04:00

i must have at one point mentioned this feeling of being engulfed in self-doubt, but never has it ever felt so strong as it has the last few months.

you must be wondering what i am speaking of...well so do i. i know of where this stems from and who and what started it all, but even i can not get past the same feelings of helplessness and shame. shame of not being strong enough to believe that i'm better than the bitterness and the guilt, but it once again overcomes all feelings of logic. impulse runs through my veins and heart...but i have come to realize that perseverance is stronger, if only for a moment.

the same prickling sensation revisits the windows to my soul and the same regret rises in my throat....everything is all too familiar and sadly i feel the urge to give in. it is the power in knowing that this is of no fault of yours, but completely MINE, mine to disspell and mine to own up to and deal with.

sweltering heat!!!!!

2005-06-29T14:26:00.000-04:00

my god it's damn hawtttt!! i cannot believe the soaring temperatures lately. well, it probably only seems that way since i live in a house without a/c. =( boo for that!
on another note, i completely wish i didn't sign up for summer school! it's really starting to dawn on me that this course is more than i can handle. i'm sitting here trying to find things to do so that i can avoid typing up my first essay of the course, which of course is due in a day and a 1/2. freakin' shoot me. just shoot me. please. i hate that overwhelming feeling of knowing you have a deadline and you're so completely brain dead. massive writer's block. i always say i've learned my lesson, but what do you know? it comes back to bite me in the ass once more. it's all my fault for assuming that i can handle it, when right now i am freaking out. oh well, somehow it gets done...someone asked me that too, how do you do it? how do you manage to do it so last minute? i guess working under pressure is really better for me.
i'll be back in a few to update you on the status....

blink

2005-06-14T23:01:00.000-04:00

it's been quite awhile since i've last blogged. the last few days have been sweltering and i've been subjected to living in a house with no A/C. damn hot is all i have to say.

tonight was mesmirizing watching the hard rain come down and the dark clouds roll on by....made me wistful. thunder and lightening was also there as the rain came down in thick sheets and the trees swayed so hard you would think that they would fall over. i sat there on my bed watching the room darken and felt how i did as a child anticipating the next rattle of thunder. i, to this day still do not like thunder, the sound of it, but i do love the rain. the sound of rain, the smell of it, the feel of it, it's cleansing and therapeutic to me. so it is only fitting that i feel engrossed in my thoughts tonight.

i feel the shame of past faults and fights that i've never revisited for any sort of reconciliation or apologies. i feel abandoned and betrayed over certain and specific friendships and as hard as i try not to let them eat away at my soul over feelings of neglect or disdain, i can't help but feel that i am solely responsible for not taking initiative to confront these battles. i miss certain people from my past, only to remember that fights are a two way street as well, yet i feel wiser and more accepting of mistakes....
i feel that i have missed out on these specific people's lives, that maybe they miss me too, or perhaps not. whatever the case, i feel the need to want to speak to them, to share that friendship again. they have all meant something to me in one way or another, but i can't change the way they feel about ME.

i am sure that each of us has felt this way at least once in their lifetime....or is this just my way of not letting myself feel so alone?

waiting....waiting....

2005-05-23T01:39:00.000-04:00

i have approximately 2 sleeps to go before my acey comes home. i miss him lots!! apparently he misses me too, we have an upcoming phone bill to prove it too!!
it's weird how time apart can really clarify one's feelings. is it possible to love somebody more when they aren't even there? it is...trust us.

i've had some time to think about what my life has been lacking...a regular life assessment of what i need to do to get it together.

NEEDS:
*more exercise
*more structure & discipline when it comes to studying & saving $$$
*more laughter
*more hugs & kisses
*again...more exercise
*speaking of exercise, a better diet
*more time to devote to friends
*more affection, life is too short

having this alone time without acey physically there reminds me that i can get it together like i used to be able to. just realizing that life, nor professors are NOT going to wait and life continues on...that to be one of the lucky ones who has someone so genuinely kind as Acey is, warms my heart. Not that being single means that life is not fulfilling...but those who are truly lucky to find the right one have somebody great to share life's treasures with.
he is my bestfriend in all sense of the word and i miss him when he's not around. he constantly triggers mental notes in my head and heart of what i want life to be, full of smiles and hugs and kisses. life really and truly is too short to dwell on regrets and failures...strive to make new mistakes that ultimately lead you to a new stepping stone.
i am reminded tonight of what i used to be, and what i have come to be...no longer the bitter and scared person who had her heart broken and full of disappointment, but rather a hopeful and insightful woman who has the most amazing bestfriend(s) by my side.

this weekend was great despite his missing presence, i delighted in the fact that i know he is love in distance, and that he'll be coming home soon to hold my hand and kiss me on the forehead.

PJPII + MT reunion + me slowly going crazy...

2005-04-11T02:05:00.000-04:00

PJPII
Originally uploaded by cheeseburger.

The last week has been quite unbearable. I will not even attempt to express how i feel about the passing of such an extraordinary leader of my faith...although i will say there will never be any other Pope like him who had such a love for humanity and fondness for children. it was always so evident how much he adored the youth and you would see it in his face at how rejuvenated he would get, despite his illnesses. i love him as much as every single person who can appreciate a person who stood for universal peace and love.

last night i attended my highschool reunion...not exactly my 10 year reunion, but rather the school's first ever reunion which spanned 20 years worth of MT graduates. i felt so nervous approaching the back doors to what was once my cave of endless assignments and teenage angst memories...
i saw a bunch of classmates who i have not seen in years...so that was nice. although i could not escape that tiny little feeling of shame as they asked what i was up to and with my response saw the look of confusion as they did the math when i said i still had 2 years of school left =(
i know i shouldn't even give it a second thought because i know that what i am doing is right for me and there should not be any regrets...what i think is all that should matter.
my guest was my one and only lovable honey =) i'm sorry i left you alone for a bit, just had to get around to let go of some nervous energy. and i'm constantly surprised at how small this world keeps getting...ernesto is going out with this girl named Jen who knew Acey since he was a kid! they're such a cute couple and ernesto is still the same crazy, lovable, and funny dude he was back then. it made me smile knowing that he still remembered the little odd jokes we had. *in a high-pitched voice* - "can you sign my agenda?"

good times, good times

it was a nice night and to end it off, bubble and i got to chow down on some mickey d's, yummy! even though i woke up with a really bad migraine, i still had a blast cracking jokes with everyone!

now as for me slowly going crazy...take home exam nearly complete, me studying for math english - zero done! i just want to survive this first year back and really as desperate as i am, i just want to average out to a C please!
15 more days to go...

2005-04-01T16:58:00.000-05:00

love this ring...

art deco

2005-03-30T20:53:00.000-05:00

Eileen Gray

Art deco and Interior design is calling my name!!!!!!!!
I'm really contemplating what i want to do with my life....i've always been creative in different ways. Mind you, I can't draw for my life, but i love colour, painting, make up artistry, decorating, fashion, and home design. i love it all...and i don't know what i'm going to do.

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2005-03-26T08:54:00.000-05:00

i was trying to hold off from blogging on friendster, but given that i now have a brand new computer, i figured i'd blog the hell out of it. as well, i haven't actually blogged in a long time, so an update was needed. clarity from the chaos would be nice to revisit one day as i read this and remember.

the last month has been somewhat hectic and eventful. work has eaten up whatever free time i had away from school, reading too has also sucked up my time, and the miniscule moments i did have were spent with "boyfriend". it's been a long month with GWP going on at work, not to mention the fact that it has AGAIN given me some new insight into why i really am reconsidering taking a break from Clinique. Having to deal with irritating women arguing over lipstick kinda puts life's bigger pictures into a clearer perspective.

after taking a break from the books for 2 years, i took it on thinking i was more ready than ever, only to be somewhat pleasantly surprised by the amount of work i thought i had missed. i really did miss the challenge of reading a new novel every week and challenging myself to think beyond my mind's limitations. my first year literature & theory course by far has been the best course i've taken. it helped to deconstruct what we only knew english courses to be like as it was in highschool....how little i knew then. this year's courses are no more challenging, as i am undertaking a whole new aspect to english than i thought i'd need to take - linguistics. thank god i dumped the idea of majoring in it. truly we do take knowing and speaking english on a regular basis for granted, for this language is harder than we thought! it's almost part biology with the alveolars, the dentals, the bilabials, the palatals, and it looks partly mathematics with the P-S tress going on....pick up a linguistics text and you'll see what i mean. the most stimulating course i'm currently taking is my Post-Colonial South Asian Literature course. Love the books, love the cultures, love the inspirations, love the TA (although she's a hard marker!!), and although she can be quite dry in her lectures the Prof. is quite intelligent as she won the first ever New India Book Prize. Click

Ace and I are great! I think we've ventured into that coupledom zone where anything goes now. but our relationship need not those phases because it never ceases to amaze me how centered we are about things. from the beginning it has been effortless and real and i truly feel that i never have to doubt him or i about where things stand or what we expect from each other. they say that certain types of relationships fall into that category of "how love should be", but i like to think of our relationship not of how it should be, but feels more like coming home. btw, our parents met the other day for our fathers' birthdays, and it really felt like i had MY 4 parents there instead of my biological 2. ace felt the sting of my mom's eyes..."take off your hat". hahaha

books

2005-02-22T00:13:00.000-05:00

in rotation: fleetwood mac - "dreams" & michael buble - "home"
Milan Kundera
"A young woman in love with a man torn between his love for her and his incorrigible womanizing one of his mistresses and her humbly faithful lover--these are the two couples whose story is told in this masterful novel. In a world in which lives are shaped by irrevocable choices and by fortuitous events, a world in which everything occurs but once, existence seems to lose its substance, its weight. Hence, we feel "the unbearable lightness of being" not only as the consequence of our private actions, but also in the public sphere, and the two inevitably intertwine."

++ I've been itching to get this book! Amazon.com calls this a perennial classic...i had picked it up last week when i was downtown at a used book store, but given that i've been broke, i decided to pass that day. so as usual when i don't buy something that i really like, i'm stuck thinking about it, regretting not getting it right then and there. i haven't been reading the books that i should be reading for school, instead i've been reading the books i feel might strike a chord in myself that i feel will forever leave their mark on my soul. so far, only a few have managed to do that. those books have been:
"the joy luck club", "the god of small things", "the namesake", and "a beautiful life".
as a child, i outgrew the 9am-9pm cycle of playing outside everyday, getting a tan, riding my bike with the kids from the block fairly quick, so by age 10 i prefered to stay indoors where it wasn't so hot and sticky, and situated myself in my comfy bed with a good Nancy Drew, Sweet Valley High, or R.L. Stein book. Those were my favorites to read...if only i had the whole Sweet Valley High series!! I remember thinking that if I had saved all my allowances, i could possibly buy the whole series which was approx. 1-100something. all i know was that it was a lot of money for me then.

valentimes!!!!!!!

2005-02-17T13:13:00.000-05:00

in rotation: isley brothers - "summer breeze" & esthero - "this lullaby"

"valentimes" came and went this year...a rainy day it was, as my jeans were soaked to my knees and my socks wet too =*(

it was a great day! a truly first memorable valentines day with a special somebody...i love that it was planned out and had a theme to it. acey took me to the bata shoe museum downtown to engage in what looked to be a shi-shi place, but it was okay since we drank our single glasses of red wine and got buzzed off of that!! it was fun running around looking at the shoes. we also got our hands done with mahendi!

the final product:

i don't think i could've had a more relaxed and fun evening with anybody else, and why would i? i have the best boyfriend ever! i loved the necklace, the earrings, and most of all, the ring. what other girl would be so happy sitting in the car with her boyfriend on valentine's day eating a slice of pizza? only me....because he's so great and the pizza was delish!

speaking of pizza, i baked him a potato pizza and fudge cupcakes with vanilla frosting! yummm!! the potato pizza was really good!

as well, i gave him a little basket of sentiments....a detachable, cute, and cuddly pair of monkeys that i've been saving for a special and worthy valentine, and a glass jar of stars i made...nothing big, but from the heart.

trip hop & acid jazz

2005-02-04T13:27:00.000-05:00

currently in rotation:
esthero - the tree knows everything & esthero - og bitch
wow! how long has it been since i've last blogged??? i guess it goes to show how busy i've been. i should be busy right now studying for nats, but i'm here. over the last couple of days i've been listening to more and more acid jazz and trip hop again. i was really big on that stuff back in highschool and now i'm just remembering how much i love it and how i've missed it. i love solstice, aya, frou frou, goldfrapp, mandalay, and emiliana torrini, esthero is probably my favorite and she's representing canadian talent, which is a bonus!!

but what i really want is this cd:

brr!!!!! & neon lights

2005-01-22T21:11:00.000-05:00

brr
Originally uploaded by cheeseburger.

brrr!! it's so cold outside!! this collage is of photos from last night's outing with boyfriend, jet, and marilyn. we had gone to takko sushi and watched coach carter.
i was playing around with my camera in the night option and those are what i took. you could almost feel the cold just by looking at these pictures.

just a photo op boyfriend and i took. i can't get over how cold its been the last few days. i almost died having a coughing fit just walking to the restaurant, and running to the car to warm it up! i don't understand why i start coughing like crazy once outside, but then throughout the day i'm fine...it sucks huge! i just want to get better already.

lululemon

2005-01-20T14:08:00.000-05:00

"Do what you can, with what you have, with where you are."

i love lululemon!! they're so kitschy chic!

12:35am cont'd
currently listening to: cheryl lynn - "got to be real"
boyfriend left about 45 mins ago, kinda lonely now...i hate when he has to go. so now i'm just blogging and watching the iron chef at the same time. i tend to have a ritual at night, blogging around this hour of midnight, chat with boyfriend for a few mins then finish blogging, watch iron chef, then get off the computer, lay in bed and channel surf while saying my goodnights to bubble, and then finally i fall asleep coughing.

over the last couple of nights i've tried convincing boyfriend to start his own blog. for some people, they either love to do it, or just don't have the patience. i personally, love blogging. it's so personal and comforting to type away your thoughts when your feelings are so raw and real. i've realized that the best clarity in my situations come to me late at night and i find my answers as i'm typing away my thoughts. the entries make excellent reflection pieces.

stupid sarah & stupid computer....tattle-tale boyfriend!

2005-01-20T01:27:00.000-05:00

my computer sucks! boyfriend got me in trouble with his dad tonight too...
and i think clinique is a bunch of BS....stupid hoebag sarah, telling me how to use an eyeshadow brush!!?!?! screw you lady! why don't you head down to the holts on bay & bloor and get some makeup tips from bobbi brown!??!

ggggrrrrrrr!!!!!

annnnnnnnnnnd i'm still not talking to YOU!

cough, cough & flickr

2005-01-18T23:55:00.000-05:00

08-08-04_2136
Originally uploaded by cheeseburger.

today was nice. acey came with me to my first lecture of the day, anthro, but i felt bad because he had forgotten he had a staff meeting and was late =( sorry boyfriend!
then he came and picked me up from school after my 7pm class. he is absolutely the best! i love him so much! i love spending time with him...he is truly priceless!!

this crap does not work!! i'm still coughing like crazy...i took 2 tablespoons as recommended for people 12 years and over, and it's not working as expected. i'm not too pleased right now. i can't live like these, constantly feeling as if i'm wheezing because of this cough. what's worse is that it doesn't even feel like a real cough, worse yet it's a deep dry cough. atleast i don't have a fever anymore. thank god for that! school today was such a feat though. trying to suppress a cough in a lecture of more than 100 people is not fun!

on another note, i am so happy to have found a site that works with blogger so that users are able to post their photos up on their sites!!! i can't believe i didn't find this site sooner! i've been using boomspeed.com which only has a minimum of i don't even know how much space, but i constantly had to keep deleting photos. yay for flickr.com!!!

nate berkus

2005-01-17T20:10:00.000-05:00

"The beauty in the midst of it was just so staggering. The kindness that was shown, not only to me, but to one another. You could feel the humanity: it was palpable and it was very, very real. When you're there and you have nothing and you have no clothing and you have no identification and you have no water and you have no food, you are dependent on someone else's smile."
-Nate Berkus on surviving the Tsunami in Sri Lanka

nate berkus is known as oprah's recurring guest who helps her viewers design their homes. he, along with his partner, fernando bengoechea, were on vacation in Sri Lanka on the island of Arugam Bay when the tsunamis hit. nate told his story of survival and of loss on oprah's show today. i couldn't have been more saddened with the initial hearing of the tsunami disasters, but watching nate on oprah and loving his fun-loving and sincere personality he brought to the show, only made me feel even more devastated by the effect that these tsunamis have brought to the rest of the world. nate survived, but sadly, fernando is presumed gone.

my thoughts along with thousands of oprah's viewers and nate's fans are with him, his family, and fernando's family as well.

popsicles & acey

2005-01-17T16:05:00.000-05:00

in rotation: brian mcknight - "everytime you go away"
snacking on: whoppers & grape gatorade
i often get momentarily inspired and then it becomes so fleeting that when i begin typing away, the moment is gone and i have no chance in remembering what it was that i wanted to share. i'm also taking a mini-break from reading my South Asian novel...

what i do remember from this inspired moment which has already passed me, is that i dreamt last night of what life for me was like exactly a year ago. i distinctly remember sitting here as i am right this instant, tinkering away and bandaging a wounded heart. i had just broken up with my ex-boyfriend, the longest standing relationship i was ever able to hold on to without boredom, which, in fact was a relationship far from boring!! the most crucial detail was that i was allowing myself to be defeated in not realizing the only compromise of this damned relationship was my self integrity. what more could i have done? nothing really...it was another person's inability to appreciate what i was willing to sacrifice -- self respect, but what did he know about self-respect anyhow? he was as arrogant as arrogant could get.
so i dreamt of him, and i dreamt of myself...vivid images of tears i cried and fights we fought...insults we yelled and calls ignored. it was a cycle. a disgusting power struggle neither of us were able to forfeit. why did sour relationships always have to end this way? where was the break in a breakup?

anyhow, my true inspiration were the months that followed this tragic break-up...the summer came and i came head to head with my complete equal. complete equal in all sense of the word -- what i like to now call "my lobster".
the summertime is truly a time to savour. the dark of the night approaches slower and leaves more time to play on the beach. the heat of the sun casts a golden glow on everyones skin and the coolness of a popsicle deliciously delightful. i haven't had this much fun since a child riding my bike in the neighbourhood from 9am-9pm. the best part was that i wasn't alone...i had acey to share it with. the trips to the beach, rainy night drives, freezie drives, breakfast mornings, walks on the lakeshore...all were priceless and i wouldn't trade those days for any amount of money i could've made working.

i can't wait for this summer to bring more memories...

1 pm & lotsa-heart elephant carebear

2005-01-16T23:36:00.000-05:00

i woke up today at the glorious hour of 1 pm. mind you, i was initially awake @ the hour of 7 am, due to de-gunking myself. for the past 6 days i've awoken early morning having a coughing fit and not being able to breathe thru my clogged nose. this dumb cold won't leave me...i can't wait until i'm completely better and my normal routine can continue.

the other day was my 6 month anniversary with my lobster acey. it seems so much longer though =) i'm so happy to have him and he is truly my favorite part of the day when i get to talk to him, or even better when we get to see each other. he is absolutely the best thing that has come along since my discovery of the fried banana @ spring rolls!! he is just as delectable as the coconut ice cream that goes with the honey covered fried banana!!
he got me a lotsa-heart carebear....and it's pink too!!

shvasa?? -- "inspiration" in sanskrit

2005-01-16T02:56:00.000-05:00

i've been sick for the past few days and today has been the first day where i've felt completely fine to venture out of my house. fine enough that tonight my thoughts felt lucid enough to want to to start blogging again.

i've blogged on and off for the past 3 1/2 years never feeling "safe" enough to go public. i still felt like that private 10 year old girl, who hid her journal with one hand while scrawling furiously with the other.
as a child i always felt the need to write and capture moments that i knew would hold significant meaning. i wanted to remember exactly where i was, what i was wearing, what i was doing, just so that i could preserve the memory and have it to look back on. i guess it's true that old habits die hard, because i still do that these days. yet as i've gotten older, i find that i actually keep little momentos of places these memories occur. i keep business cards of the restaurants i go to, movie stubs, napkins of coffee shops i've had the "best" conversations, little flowers of walks i've taken, and so forth....
i can't help it. i'm sentimental that way. i guess when it comes down to it, i want to hold on to them so that when i'm old and gray, i want to reflect and remember that i've led a memorable life filled with happy moments.

+++